Monday, July 13, 2009

Dizzy Dame

Do you ever wake up in the morning and wonder "How the hell did I get here?" Do you ever find yourself wandering through your apartment in the early morning, and as you reach for your morning cereal you stop midreach and think "Am I really here? Or will I wake up in my bed where I used to be 3 months ago?" I'm endlessly amazed where the winds of life take me day to day.

4 years ago I lived independently in Castle Rock, CO. New girlfriend, 25 years old and going to school.

3 years ago I had very recently moved to the Seattle area with my partner and we were celebrating our one year anniversary and her 30th birthday. Dropped out of school. We bought our first house months before and we were starting our lives over in a new city together.

2 years ago we were celebrating our 2nd anniversary and her 31st birthday. We had finally made friends and we were planning our first major vacation to Mexico. We had scores of family visit us over the year and we were finally settled into our lives with eachother.

1 year ago we were celebrating our 3rd anniversay and her 32nd birthday. We were planning our wedding for October 11th. It consumed our conversations and we were constantly excited and buzzing about it with each other and with our friends. We were excited about our lives and our future together and so very in love. We were starting our premarital counseling and we knew we weren't perfect but we could overcome any challenge together. Talked about going back to school. Wasn't supported.

Present. Divorced after 5 months of marriage. My wife emotionally cheated on me, lied to and manipulated me, and left me for her coworker. Threw me out of the home we built together. Wanted to stay friends. I politely declined. Starting my life over on my own in Seattle. Found a fabulous apartment and painted it. Filled my apartment with furniture and slowly rebuilding my possesions. I'm writing again. I'm inspired by life again. I met someone. She's beautiful, supportive and fiercely herself. I adore my friends. I love my family, even if my parents are getting divorced. I love my dog. My job supports me and is filled with opportunity. God has blessed me with the darkest moments of my life.

So thank you God for the bad, because out of the pile of rubble that was my life a flower is growing.

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