Sunday, July 12, 2009


When does a girl become a woman?
Does it happen when gets her first period?
Does it happen when she graduates school?
Does it happen when she hastily loses her virginity for the sake of losing it?
Does it happen when she accepts her budding sexuality?
Does it happen when she gets her first job, moves out on her own?
Does it happen when she falls in love for the first time?
Does it happen when she moves far away from her family in the persuit of freedom and love?
Does it happen when she settles down?
Gets married?
Gets the house?
The 2 dogs?
2 cars?
The great job?
Makes family plans?
Has everyting she could possibly ever want or need?
I do not believe that womanhood comes with milestones?
Why so?
Because I have completed every milestone above.
Like the Project Manager of my life I have persued each and every milestone I believed that would make me into the woman I was supposed to be.
I was not a woman.
I was a girl wearing a grown ups clothing.
Living a grown ups life.
A child wearing Mama's dress and shoes and make up, desiring so much to have what I believe was supposed to be my future.
I thought I knew.
I thought I was a woman.
I was a child.
I became a woman the day my heart was broken.
For a time there was a cavernous space where my heart was.
It has grown back since, but forever changed.
The greatest lesson you'll ever learn in life, is that you know nothing.

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