Introducing a New Cabbage Patch Doll...

So it's my theory that my Dentist went to the Abu Ghraib School of Dentistry. I had my wisdom teeth pulled out this past Saturday, so I wasn't able to pick up a scale and get started on my weight loss blog like I was hoping to. Waiting at the Rite Aid for my medication was the most painful 15 minutes of my life.

After telling some people that I had my wisdom teeth out I heard a lot of stories in return; some good, some bad. Though I can't help but feel mine is a pretty awful tale. I was awake throughout the whole process. My dentist, Dr. Strange (should have tipped me off from the beginning), was not going to put me to sleep, but rather give me an anti anxiety pill. I however had not eaten that morning and he said the pill would make me sick on an empty stomache. So he just gave me local anesthesia and went to work on the first tooth.

I will never get the sound of cutting flesh and grinding teeth out of my head. It's awful. No wonder people want to be put to sleep! It's torture having to be awake for this process. I didn't even get laughing gas for the first tooth! After he stitched up the first socket, he had an emergency patient come in he needed to help. I asked his assisstant of I could please have laughing gas, so she hooked me up with some laughing gas and an US Weekly magazine. I sat there for an hour waiting for him to come back and finish my extractions. When he came back and starting cutting into the next tooth, it was painfully (and I do mean painfully) clear that the local anesthetic had worn off because I felt him cut into me. Sadist! I thought that tooth had to be the worst of it, until he got to my last tooth. He was pulling down on my jaw so hard to extract the tooth I thought my jaw was going to break. Then suddenly I felt a sharp, hot electric feeling run up the left side of my face. He must have hit a nerve. I was kicking my legs in the air. By the time he was finished I was crying and shaking. I swear he worked for the Bush Administration as an interrogator.

The healing process has of course been painful. My face is terribly swollen and seems to get worse day by day. Today my right eye lids are swollen. I look like I've been in a boxing match. My bottom left side of my lip and chin are still numb, with a little tingling. I wouldn't be surprised if there was some minor nerve damage, but after doing some research online it should hopefully heal since there's some tingling.

So the moral of this story? There's a couple. Don't go to a dentist whose name is Dr. Strange, and if you get your wisdom teeth out, always request to be put to sleep.

On the upside I'm not tempted to stuff my face, because there's no room and I can't chew. I'm on a soup, mashed potatoes, ice cream and yogurt diet. So I'm putting off starting my diet blog for a week, until I'm all better and can exercise again. I'm bummed I can't do yoga or go for a walk without my head throbbing, but hopefully I'll bounce back from this soon. I don't like not being active.

Until then, I'll just be here with my demerol and ice packs.