The Unemployment Journal: Day 30

Cue Gloria Estefan's "Coming Out of the Dark". It's hard to believe it's been 30 days of unemployment. I've had several interviews, filled out countless online applications (I know have all of my references contact info emblazoned in my brain) and as of today I am still joyfully unemployed.

"Joyfully?!" you ask your computer screen out loud while cocking your head a little to the right and furrowing your brow, "Is it really joyful to be unemployed?" Well if you worked in a dead end job for a sub par manager with no hope of promotion or raise for two years that everyday you had to literally force yourself out of bed to go to, you'd be pretty joyful too. Admittedly the joy didn't come immediately.

First I was angry. Then I was terrified. Then I was relieved I didn't have to go back there. Then I was terrified again when my unemployment benefits were denied. I stayed terrified for a good 3 weeks. Mixed with terror came depression and the desire to stay in my sweats all day and not work out. Then a desire to eat an entire bowl of cookie dough. Desire was again replaced with terror that I would become a shut in and I would be found years later having died from a cookie dough overdose. Then I got rid of the cookie dough. Then, by the grace of God, after a 3 week wait my unemployment was finally approved, after my employer didn't contest my rebuttal. The weight of terror and depression was catapulted from my shoulders and replaced with an abundance of relief.

Relief that I won't lose my apartment. Relief that I can afford groceries and gas again. Most of all, relief that I won't have to settle for yet another dead end job for the sake of making money. Today I can honestly say that getting fired from that awful good for nothing dead end job was one of the best things that ever happened to me. Now when I wake up in the morning, I look forward to looking for a better job instead of being filled with the sense of dread that I had going to my old one.

So today I got up, put on a skirt and a necklace, put on some bright red lipstick and got out of my dark apartment. It's gonna be a great day.